Monday, May 28, 2012

Coping well, i guess


Think I have been coping pretty well for the past 1 week.
Mixed feeling for dearest to be back, cus it just means I will be taking my exams for the next 2 days. I realise my ability to blog has deteriorate along with my frequency. While I still rely very much on words compared to vocals to express my thoughts and feelings, I hope it will not die off so soon cus I know there are secret readers who still pop by every now and then to read.

I admit I don’t have the most interesting blog, neither do I have the best photoshop skills, so do I not have the prettiest face. But I always believe the purpose of blogging, or at least for me is to jot down my thoughts and feelings, while I am thinking and typing. This is also the same reason why I do not have a twitter account. I strongly believe that I will abuse it by saying things on impulse that may hurt others or create commotion or feedbacks or attention which I don’t really need.  I still feel comfortable here thinking of what to write just so I know 10 years down the road when I read this, I’ll be laughing at myself why I even typed this, and what the hell is going through my mind.

Speaking of that, I just read one of my older blogs which I think nobody has read it before. Think that was during my sec 2 to sec 3 transitions. It has been 6 years, and through these 6 years, it is obvious to tell how one writes, reflects the maturity of that person.  I was immature, sadistic and pessimistic, I also realised I had many role models, friends I can relied on when my confidence level hit real low. Unfortunately, my focus now has to turn since meeting Isham in 07. It has always been tough trying to keep a balance between friends and bf. But understand I am trying my best.

Appreciate that I am able to attend poly, get a job and I am thankful that I am able to read and write, able to differentiate what’s good and bad

As such, I have an announcement to make. I will not be holding any 21st birthday celebration. My rationale is simple, the best birthday present I want to receive is to spend quality time with everyone that appreciate in my life. Not a mere 3 to 4 hrs long party and I’ll see you in 3 to 4 years time. It defeats in purpose and I stand by it. Thus, my real birthday wish is to really spend time with all treasured ones. It doesn’t have to be this year, it can be as long as I live until I get married, be a mummy, have grandchildren. Best friends forever! BFF, you realised how it is a very simple word, but do you really mean it when you say you will be best friends for life?

I appreciate that I still have friends who always care about me, would initiate to meet me, I REALLY REALLY appreciate it, and those who don’t give up on me :)

Since Isham’s enlistment last year, I have been trying very hard to control my weight, again my reason is simple, I don’t want to look bigger than my boyfriend, because I surely know he will lose some weight during tough training. Which I did, and thankfully I did, I am a happier, more confident person now than 1 year ago when people still criticise my size, my looks. No I have nothing against them, and neither do I take it to heart. I know I needed to change and the change has to start from me. Thus, since Nov last year, I’ve been cutting intake of unnecessary carbs, snacking and have been exercising regularly since.

For someone who use to play sports and then to become so slow isn’t very motivating. I always wonder how the hell I did 10 rounds around football field for warm-up. To be honest, I never liked running. You can ask me to play sports and run, but definitely not pure running. Just 2 days ago, SY and I completed out 2nd race together. Our first being Nike BFF run which Is a total flop. This time round, I think we really did awesomely well!!! Kudos to the both of us, we’ve never trained together but I think we just had a common goal. DON’T STOP!!! So we chionged until we reached the finishing line! Happy max. this is the first time I ran 10km without stopping, although the timing can be much better but I guess its not too bad for SY’s first 10km and my 2nd 10km.

It is a good time for Isham to be away since I need to juggle work, studies and running all together, I need my 1 week break after exams!! Break as in break from attending lessons -_- miserable, I know. Lol. Holidays? Nah, I need to pay for my poly fees. Boohoo~ During the past 1 week dearest was away, everything simply took place damn zhun until I don’t know what to say… all I can say is fate is amazing…

Anw good news is… ISHAM and I finally started saving up!!! After 4 years right I know. Better late than never what!! Save up for the future! And many other plans I wanna carry out when I earn enough/ save enough.

To all taking ACCA exams, GOOD LUCK!! And all the best

To all random passer-bys and stalkers, HELLO!!!! lol

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