heartbroken :(

Work has been so far so good.
Workload is crazy but coping well.
Extra motivation from the revised pay ^^
Getting my first official pay next Monday. Happy Girl :)
Into school for 3 weeks. Amazingly law to me now is pretty interesting.
think cus the lecturer quite funny also.
Managerial/Cost accounting is boring zzzz
the lecturer is like a bullet train.
and expect us to be like one too.
bullet even before we know how to hold the gun.
big worry here. alot of self studying to do.

Last week, we went to clarke quay as part of our "yearly" event.
No more butter squid :(

Thought everything was going back on track and becoming better but i was wrong.
I just want to vent, pardon me.
For ALL the times I wanted 'Isham to meet me at gombak after my driving, he was never early. end up i had to take train to JE to meet him. even then there are times I was still earlier. No complains about that. maybe just niam through the phone but never once attitude-d. never once hang up his call.
I had night driving today. We planned not to meet. So when my instructor suggested to drop me off at JE, I agreed. When i reach, 'Isham told me he was at gombak.
attitude plus hanged my call. i tried to call back, he rejected my call.
Babe, i don't understand how this is my fault at all.
you didn't even call me/msg me.
I was contemplating whether to take the train home.
I had the urge to, really. but i stayed. you said i wasn't grateful. were you?

When u came we exchanged no words, but things went back to normal soon after we boarded the train. I said I was angry, you said so were you.
I was angry how this whole thing became my fault JUST BECAUSE I was at JE instead of BB. you were angry because you think i wasn't grateful.

you sent me home, and you saw your bus drove away. you missed the bus.
I was returning home in a "happy dance" never to expect you to be frustrated.
you made a mockery. how is this my fault again. How am i suppose to know when the bus arrives? I apologised for holding you up, and you posted on your facebook.

1 word. Heartbroken.

Everytime I am sad,
I talk to Spiritualjoy,
I cry but only at home because if you see me cry, you'd scold me for crying too easily.
I don't want to confide in a friend to cause our rls to be rocky.

I look forward with a life with you, but how to?
when i can't even be myself when I am with you?
I can't believe I am facing this into our 3 years of rls.