happy Friday

Been really a long time since i blogged.
I miss blogging, recently too many things happened at home..
I am overwhelmed, I don't know how to manage.

Thankfully i still have the weekends to share my woes with bf, friends.
Hope things get better.

Played Netball last week under the hot sun,
it was straight 8 quarters, really a test of my stamina. by last 2nd quarter i was dead, lazy legs....
But i never want to lose touch with this game, thankfully my company still has a chance for me to play once a year... although the people who play are like the same la! haha ehh siao siao... some ex netballers are really awesome k! i was playing GA and it totally sucks, i can't shoot for nuts, lucky my GS is pro one... haha... and good to know people from other departments too since my co is ermmm.. 20k odd people? want to meet also abit hard uh.

This week will be an awesome awesome week! good food, and making good progresses with jogging as well. 7.5km so far, alhough the timing is not the best due to me being slow and traffic light timing, i hope i can jog 10km without stopping, thats my aim for sundown :) and then maybe my mizuno and jurong lake i can start to improve my timing, one step at a time :) i should set my limit to 10km cus i know if i were to run more, my boobs will be at risk... hmmm...

Work has been quite the same i guess, more things to share this weekend with pictures hopefully :) i must start blogging often, really really!!!

Till then :) happy friday!

Watch the 10pm cheating husband show until damn angry!!! Lol!!!! Stupid guy!!!!!

i cannot believe

I cannot believe what is happening before me.

I cannot accept the fact why things have to turn out this way

I cannot comprehend why it has to be me...

We don't ask for trouble free life.

my family background forces me to be independent.

not that i really chose to.

If you have no $ den don't take cab,

if you have no $ don't gamble

if you have no $, don't harm your family members financially.

we are only here trying to earn a living.

i am only here trying to fight a piece of what belongs to me.

I am only here to start building my own dreams.

Why are there so many obstacles??

Why is everything not smooth sailing?

Why do i have to grow up worrying bout having $ all the time.

if marriage is going to bring an end to it, i gladly would.

but no!!!! i must not and will not until i am mentally/ financially ready.

What i can do now is to bear with it for a few years.

and hope prince charming come save me soon.

I need a breather.

I am so tired of this....

Friendship

As much as i DREAD talking about this topic.

I just felt i really need to put if off my shoulder.

had been troubling me since the incident which i am guilty about.

Spiritualjoy is my best listener, though she doesnt give any advice.

at least she hears me well.

troubled by the fact that i lost a friend, i lost him because of my own idiotic act to agree.

i know my friends will tell me its not my fault because it will still happen.

but i was acting like a catalyse. i speed up the process.

And because I WAS in the same ship 3 years ago.

I had the same thoughts, if you want me, you gotta break your ties with your friends.

Yeah in a relationship, truly it is always about partner vs friends.

unfortunately/fortunately my bf is as stubborn as i am, refused.

of course i was devastated. of course i was swearing

"you mean your friends are more important than our relationship?"

but he told me something more hurtful.. i forced him to do smth that he thought would hurt the bitchanate so he told me "he doesn't want to hurt the friendship"

again to me WTF at this point you're still thinking about YOUR FRIENDSHIP with HER?

GO TO HELL SERIOUSLY.

proof- you can actually back track my old blog post back in year 09. can't remember the date though, shld be July onwards...

then because he refused so badly, i wanted to take the initiative on his behalf.

yes, i am those kind, don't mess with my man or i'll go hell with you.

lol.. he refused too. wah really i think that was my worst period of my relationship...

he reassured me and stuff but hell when you're hurt reassurance like no use liao...

i think eventually he went to tell her like..

"MY GIRLFRIEND ASKED ME TO SAY..................."

ya, so it became like I WAS instructing him to do what he didn't want to say to her...

ok la... den i was thinking my reputation infront of his friends already tarnish.

if i stop him from meeting them ,my reputation as a gf is really can be trash...

so i act noble lor. let them meet. anw by forbidding ties is really avoiding the problem which to me isn't really solving the problem.

of course i believe there would be awkwardness, i have never met them in real,

and never will. my reputation is really at 0 and i really don't care...

3 years ago, the fact is u called him BEE, and to date you're still a bitch because of that.

YES FACE THAT BITCH.

i am not trying to be mean but pls la hor,

use your brain before you commit any actions.

but ok, not trying to be sour grapes but like hello! now isham is in NS, whos more afraid of losing who? TRY ME LOR ISHAM TRY ME!!!! HAHAHAHA

anw one wave after another, i hope the next party would be good!

but thankfully we have already broke the barrier, sorted out things before shit happens!

phew~~~~~~~

Be thankful

S.H.E songs to bed today. can't ask for more.

Thanks for being the best :)

and my favourite quote last time "the bez man"

:)

shoutout to mag soh!

Hi mag!!!!!

long time no seeeee :)i just saw your tag, hehe

was lost in a sea of spams.. hehe

thanks much for your motivation <3

it is definitely tough now, but lets pull through this and life will get better right!!

lets jiayou tgt!!! :)

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY TO 2 FRIENDS I DIDN'T WISH!

Hi girls, these post is specially meant for you 2, don't know if you'll come across this,

but i know somehow you will, and know that I REMEMBERED YOUR BIRTHDAY :)

Wanting: Miss working with you, work has been really really hectic. no time for private mails, sudoku, bingo! really glad to have known you better from internship! catchup with you again after your prelims and belated birthday!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! :)

Peiyi: whaooooo my first poly friend, sorry for missing out your birthday celebration with the rest of the peeps! haven't caught up with you for a long long time and i really mean a long long time. hope everything is going well for you :) CATCH UP WITH YOU on mon after ur papers!! :) sure have many things to say!!!! HAHAHAHAHA

ADD OIL FOR PRELIMS AH <3

I cant be good in everything, i have my limitations.
I can't be the best in everything.
Why cant you accept my flaws.
Sorry i am too lousy for you.

Netball not good
Futsal not good
Badminton not good
Sorry i really can't find something i am good at. If my low self esteem is not enough, thnks so much for reminding me my flaws. You're so hard to please. I'm breathless. I am fine that other ppl are better than me, but cant you see i am trying? But in your eyes, theres only victory and i am the victim.

I hope you understand that marriage is not as easy as it is. Let alone maintaining it. At the state we are now, i can see you blaming me for things i dot do well as a wife/mother/daughter in law. Yeah sure others can do it better... Den move on.... Nobody wants to be second best. Unless you change this, i am saying straight to your face, sorry you are not my kind of marriage parter. I really dont need someone to remind me of what i cant do as well for the rest of my life. Its not like you tell me nicely what i can do better, yes i know you're frustrated you're losing, so am i.

I dont want to start a quarrel, i dont need to unnecessarily affect your training mood, when u chance upon this just know that i am just disappointed. I dont know how to react. I know i am not the best gf any guy can have but cant you see that i am not genius?? Have i ever once scolded you because you can't do your napfa as well as the other guys? U do beter you can book out on friday, we can spend more time, but i know you've tried your best. I have no second doubt, if your best can only bring you this far, so be it.

Said my piece. Its not the first time it occurred and will also not be the last.

Just.... Very very sad:(

I just hv too many flaws that i cant even hide...

Sorry i've let you down again, sorry we lost again...

If only i was better, you wld love me more

what if i need to make a decision between waist and boobs? zzzzzzzzz

I know it sounds stupiak but i am wearing my favourite Argentina jersey to bed, hope it takes my daily blues away.

i know its crazy but the old memories still haunts me today, AGAIN.
i still cannot believe it... and ok it was mere karma.
i will be stronger, better, richer than bitchessssss

cannot sway cannot swayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
NOOO

isnt it nice to get married, start your own family?
I've been longing... but i have so many things to complete before i commit,
yet i can't wait to stay out.
i will wait...
save... and make life better for my kids.

and no i am not pregnant -_-
i just want to get married, period.
i just don't want my kids to be like me.

how nice........

Thanks babe for always standing by me whenever shit happens.

Brazil 2014 seems impossible for now :(
AIr tix alone is already $8k which we will have trouble saving...
looks like 2018 maybe singapore qualify lor.. hahaha

meanwhile cny has been good i guess...
but lots of liability to pay... like acca, credit card bills...

appraisal has been good phew~ :)
hope to be better next time round. phew~~
hope to do better this year!

HAPPY POP dear!

Ytd was mumu's POP, he marched 24km!
so proud of him, finally POP,
still remember how both of us dread the start of NS.
Abit sad to have made friends, went through hardship together and part.
At least, he've gone through it and i believe he'll remember it for life.

Hope posting will be good :)

anw, met his family for the first time ytd,
first time because i mean it... FAMILY.
was only expecting his dad,mum,2 brothers...
So instead of 4 people, i was surprised that his elder brother and 2 nephews were there too. so u get what i mean it is like X2 the anxiety and awkwardness...
I think all of them tried to make me feel comfortable though, they tried to talk to me and i think my face clearly shows oh no, i need isham! HAHAHA

hope this is a good start though...
at least we proved 4 years is worth some recognition!

HAPPY POP FRIENDS!!! TIME TO ENJOY YOUR BLOCK LEAVE
(while i start my routine tomorrow)
JIAYOU!!!!!!!!

2012 now!!!! and 2011 round up

firstly one of my resolution to pass driving, checked!
awesome! can't wait to save enough to get my own car.
unfortunately, many commitments now... so can't save much yet!
but i will, i will! :)

2011 truly hasn't been the best for Isham and I.
i think we quarreled more compared to 2010.
more tears definitely, but i think towards the end, since he entered NS.
Things have took a change and start to get better, i hope...
While 2012 seems to be an uncertain year for me, explain later...
i hope all will be good!

also in 2011, i started running routine and loving it! will train harder!
hope i will lose more weight.
2011 also witness my next phase of life, although not totally...
i am still a part time student...
working full time is tough but then again, i always believe in
"first bitter later sweet", so i rather be tough on me now, than much later when i have more commitments, larger responsibilities.
2011 wasn't a very easy year for my family as well.
witness lots of ups and down which i hope 2012 will clear it all!!!!

i really really hope 2012 will give me great motivation and i will strive to work towards the best i can ever be. I WANT MY KIDS TO BE BORN WITH A SILVER SPOON.
I DON'T WANT TO BE STRUGGLING WITH FINANCE ALL MY LIFE.

ok, this also means i am more or less looking to settle down with isham,
if nothing major happens, start saving up, BTO, car, marriage is all coming really soon... in the next few years so we must always plan early, start saving early and it starts in 2012!!!!!! i know i have always been pressing isham to save money when he already has limited to himself since his pay is barely enough for himself.

I WANT TO GO HOLIDAY!!!!!!!!! ok this part must save, no holidays in 2012 YET! because i am damn looking forward to BRAZIL 2014!
hohohohoho!

Work has been really hectic, so is tmr...

2012 GOGOGO!
HUAT AH!~

Damn happy with my night run although very eerie
cus i ran too late at night, and lots of bai bai today :(
1 min off my last run, same distance....
omg see what stress does to me. its a good way to vent though.
hope to be betterrrrrrrr tmr :)
awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't live to please....
will just continue to be who i am
ok whatever i am just tired
will aim to be early tmr! weeeeeeeeeeeeee!
38:18 today!!!!

So many things to rush before year end :(

its OT week next week!

anyway!

met up with amanda ytd, mani, haircut just before xmas and new year

really short hair now which i think babe will scold me when he sees me, but hello? tts my hair :)

so tired, gonna nap now!

good few weeks to rest

Yay exams are over!!!!

relived but workload is increasing cus of year end, so many things to clear cus don't want to cross year. PEAK PEAK PEAK! after clearing consolidation and financial statements, here comes the whole cycle of lessons again! grrrrrrr. so i better enjoy now la hor.

Aft i finish Jun exam i hope i'll be able to enjoy more.

cus no need rush yr end.

This period is extra taxing cus i just handover + taking new portfolio of AATS.

I hope i can manage :)

I am hoping to pass my law paper, my f5 abit no hope cus really all qns i just tried my luck.

What cher predicted really never come out :(

Had the best 5km night run ever.

timing at its best. hehe!

bad lower abdominal pain but went away aft awhile.

always happen i hate it.

den tree fell :( so had to cut in and out... lol

Sentosa on Sat!

HAPPY 39th MONTH DEAREST!!!

TONS OF MOTIVATION!!!! i need...