its f-ing obvious you're refering to me.
so what if i'm the worst?
wth.

all i can say is.
i've let the team down.

but i'll fight hard on mon.
because we need this game.
its a promise.
i dun wan to leave with any regrets. ANYMORE.
but.... are promises meant to be broken?!

i'm feeling sooo...... tired.
match is postponed.
down by 4 today.
God was on our side.
so the game will be restarting, back to 0-0.
and we'll treasure this chance.
so anw, tmr i'll probably be scissors paper ston-ing with the capt again?
haha, hopefully i'll win, i mean it doesnt really matter who gets the first centre pass?
but i think i played with her like 20times today.
and we kept putting the same ones. haha.
then we started laughing.

well, the cdiv played against MGS today too.
but they lost.
so dont worry guys, we will win it for all of you(:
and i'm gonna tell myself, i shouldnt get demoralised.
if not, it'll be like the regent 1st two quarters.
go, shilin! =) haha, crap.

motivation, was quite low for today's game.
probably becus i'm like a lil scared + excited.
tmr will be a better day!
ahhh, and i've got mtl common test aft tt.
i'm gonna die.

planned to go home aft sch.
had to do the game plan for tomorrow's game.
and sacrificed my sleeping time for charmaine!
haha, shes touched!
so anw, practice a lil on her reverse turn.
and its weird at one side of the court.
hopefully everything goes well tomorrow huh.
i'm like soooooooo excited!

i'm stressed lah
common test in 2 weeks time. and i havent even started on any single shit!
same week as finals!
arrrgghhh.
but haha, its not the end of the world!
and heres smth to cheer myself and the readers up!

some nike tee. sorry. it isnt very clear cus i forgot to off the flash. haha


rainbow!! i see your true colours, shining through.. haha.

shoots man, there are VERY nice bags at espirit. and they cost a bomb!
like 100bucks? and this really nice pants which cost like 70bucks.
darn, expensive. but........ its nice....

[P. Diddy - talking]
Hold up, let me answer my phone
Some bitch callin me about some bullshit probably
I'ma call you right back
I'm doin' this mixtape right now
Now back to what I was sayin

[Verse 1 - Mario Winans]
Somebody said they saw you
The person you were kissing wasn't me
And I would never ask you
I just kept it to myself

[Chorus - Mario Winans]
I don't wanna know
If you're playin' me, keep it on the low
Cause my heart can't take it anymore
And if your creepin, please don't let it show
Oh baby, I don't wanna know

[Verse 2 - Mario Winans]
Oh baby
I think about it when I hold you
When lookin in your eyes, I can't believe
I don't need to know the truth
Baby keep it to yourself

[Chorus - Mario Winans]
I don't wanna know
If you're playin' me, keep it on the low
Cause my heart can't take it anymore
And if your creepin, please don't let it show
Oh baby, I don't wanna know

[Break - Mario Winans]
Did he touch you better then me (touch you better then me)
Did he watch you fall asleep (watch you fall asleep)
Did you show him all those things that you used to do to me (do to me baby)
If your better off that way (better off that way)
Baby what I like to say (all that I can say)
Go on and do your thing and don't come back to me
(Stay away from me baby)

[Verse 3 - P. Diddy]
I don't wanna know where your whereabouts or how you movin
I know when you in the house or when you cruisin
It's been proven, my love you abusin
I can't understand, how a man got you choosin (yeah)
Undecided, I came and provided
My undivided, you came and denied it (why?)
Don't even try it, I know when you lyin (I know when you lyin)
Don't even do that, I know why you cryin (stop cryin)
I'm not applyin no pressure, just wanna let you know
That I don't wanna let you go (I don't wanna let you go)
And I don't wanna let you leave
Can't say I didn't let you breathe
Gave you extra G's (c'mon), put you in the SUV
You wanted ice so I made you freeze
Made you hot like the West Indies (that's right)
Now it's time you invest in me
Cause if not then it's best you leave
Holla, yeah

[Chorus - Mario Winans]
I don't wanna know
If you're playin' me, keep it on the low
Cause my heart can't take it anymore
And if your creepin, please don't let it show
Oh baby, I don't wanna know

If you're playin' me, keep it on the low
Cause my heart can't take it anymore
And if your creepin, please don't let it show
Oh baby, I don't wanna know

If you're playin' me, keep it on the low
Cause my heart can't take it anymore
And if your creepin, please don't let it show
Oh baby, I don't wanna know

okay, i LISTEN to music. [at least i'm trying to improve my eng here] lols!
so yeah. heres the song of the day!
I DONT WANNA KNOW!

so, this basically talks about this couple.
and i think some person told this guy.
that his girlfriend was seen kissing another guy.
and the boyfriend is trying to hide the facts.
maybe hes doing it for LOVE.you know LOVE is powerful! haha.
so he doesnt want to know the truth from her neither did he question her.
oh wait! thats self-denial!
aww, sad isnt it.
bottom line, he knows he get hurt aft listening to her, so he would rather not know.

interesting aint it?!

okay, so whats wrong with ppl nowadays?
or is it just me? sigh.
i'm very stressed!
this fri's game is impt.
semi finals next fri, and theres bio test next week.
and the common test week is the FINALS week lah!
i mean, for sure i cant concentrate on both.
cummon, its the FINALS. (provided we get through)
hais.

and whatever is coming up,
extra lessons? tests? homeworks? trainings? and what have you.

the more i see it, the more i fear ok.
are they the same or what?
i'm afraid.
i really am...

attacking isnt good today for training.
i hope we can play better on fri.
not hope, we must.
cummon, i dun wanna lose this game becus of attacking.

i was looking through my graduation cd! (once in a while)

yes, and for people who misplaced it.

i'll let you have a glimpse of it =)

the class of 6F!

mr ali! all i could think of is captains ball and soccer everyday!

okay, here comes the most idiotic part =)

my group! haha. all of them outgrow me.

so i'm like one of the shortest.

i'm laughing damn hard right now! haha

soooo *TOOOT* right.

you know, i feel so good to see all my classmates mature and grow.

the only thing i hate is to see them all grow so tall lah!

then they'll start shooting back at you.

i miss every single one of them.

except...... haha. "you know who"

the one that we tore his notebook, hid his health edu book.

and all the shits we could do to him.

we're mean.lols.

and the 3 gangs, triple j's, all the pervertic jokes,

and those divorce thingy. captains ball!

ahhh, no more of such in sec sch life.

still, i LOVE 6F! =)

the most comical part, mr ali scolded michelle(tan) after he found out that,

instead of doing PIE-CHART, she did LOVE CHART! lols.

ahh, my sec sch classes rocks too(:

this was taken a year ago, before our finals.

this year is a diff story altogether.

omg man. i'm getting pretty freaked out.
i aint going out with any.
whats wrong with boys nowadays?
feeling lonely? LOLS.
a movie alone with you?!
i'm thinking twice.

my mind is telling me this.
my heart tells me another.
and this always happen?! wth!
but ok, i'll follow my heart =)

& my heart says ........ i love him.

What is love? When we claim that it's
love that we have for someone, are we correct?
Something to ponder upon.....

01.Are your palms sweaty, is your heart
racing and is your voice caught
within your chest?
It isn't love, it's like.

02.You can't keep your eyes or hands
off
them, am I right?
It isn't love, it's lust.

03.Are you proud, and eager to show them off?
It isn't love, it's luck.

04.Do you want them because you know
they're there?
It isn't love, it's loneliness.

05.Are you there because it's what
everyone wants?
It isn't love, it's loyalty.

06.Are you there because they held your
hand?
It isn't love, it's low confidence.

07.Do you stay for their confessions of
love, because you don't want to
hurt
them?
It isn't love, it's pity.

08.Do you belong to them because their
sight makes your heart skip a beat?
It isn't love, it's infatuation.

09.Do you pardon their faults because
you care about them?
It isn't love, it's friendship.

10.Do you tell them every day they are
the only one you think off?
It isn't love, it's a lie.

11.Are you willing to give all of your
favorite things for their sake?
It isn't love, it's charity.

THEN WHAT IS LOVE ?

1.Does your heart ache and break when
they're sad?
Then it's love.

2.Do you cry for their pain, even when
they're strong?
Then it's love.

3.Do their eyes see your true heart,
and
touch your soul so deeply it
hurts?
Then it's love.

4.Do you stay because a blinding,
incomprehensible mix of pain and
relation
pulls you close and holds you there?
Then it's love.

5.Do you accept their faults because
they're a part of who they are?
Then it's love.

6.Are you attracted to others, but stay
with them faithfully without
regret?
Then it's love.

7.Would you allow them to leave you ,
not because they want to but because
they have to?
Then its love.

8.Would you give them your heart, your
life, your death?
Then it's love.


Now, if love is painful, and tortures
us so, why do we love? Why is it all
we search for in life? This pain, this agony?
Why is it all we long for? This
torture, this powerful death of self?
Why?

The answer is so simple cause
it's, LOVE.
It is such an addiction that even
people
who are not having it wish to
experience and share it with.

happy chinese new year!
everything was ok today.
until i reach home just now.
cummon lah please, make a big fuss out of it on the first day of cny.
whats wrong with you?
whatever lah. i dun wanna spoil my holiday mood!

dinner was not too bad.
had special guest!
some japanese people =)
so cute lah the lil girl! haha
as expected...
it was the whole room BOYS!
gaming, watching football.
shouting and screaming!
not a single female soul.
so i decided not to go in.
was watching tv all the way.
and falling asleep lah. then they shouted alot of times!
so slacked..... and then uncle drive me home.
and his car is like damn stylo lah.
got dvd player. and its like touch screen! haha
too bad his songs too old lah! lols.

just what do you understand from REUNION dinner?
this is my second year.
i'm still thinking bout it when it comes to big festivals like that.
i was tired just now, but now i dun even feel like closing my eyes.

house visiting tmr! =)

thanks for accompanying me today =D

i dreamt of my team playing in the finals.
haha... in toa payoh sports hall.
with soooo many people watching.
ah, the atmosphere was just great!
i hope it'll come true!
not only for us, but the cdiv too!

going grandma hse for reunion dinner ltr.
so lazzzyy and tired! haha.
happy cny to everyone in advance!

had the postponed match against regent this morning.
i totally forgot that it was a two quarters game.
so i didnt bring any books.
and ended up, we had eng for the last 2 periods.
i was like so afraid lah.
but was asked to put away, and focus on match.
and so i did.

warm up, started the game.
the third quarter we led by 17goals.
was like damn paiseh lah!
cus the court was sandy and slippery.
so i was trying to dodge away from Wanyu! my pri sch netball teammate.
who was playing WD, and i fell even without her touching me.
damn malu. and my ankle hurts lah! lols.
but ok alr. so i was taken out in the last quarter.rested.
meiyun and huixian went in.
total score was 38-13!
great achievement for me today. cus the attacking finally worked out.
after messing up in some of the recent games.
weee~ our toughest oppenent in the second round!
we'll be meeting MGS next.
i've got this strong feeling that we'll still meet CT in the semis. and nanhua in the finals.
hmmm.
for now, we're still one of the unbeaten teams.
that was what exactly happened last year.
we topped the 1st round and 2nd round. Semis we lost.
and down we go.
so i hope this year would be good!
go girls!=)

cny performance is more or less the same lah.
except this year is like more funny. cus its lame.

went to watch the bboys soccer match.
their match like so relax lah.
lols. before half time alr 3-0 lah.
and it started raining! damn heavily!
isham scored! but not counted since they are gonna like restart.
saw simping and haykel.
and there was a sudden banana craving.

i want to win.
i want to play my best.
but it doesnt seem to show, not at all.
i've been VERY disappointed with my performance lately.
and i'm stressed up each time.

i didnt choose to be that sort that wanna get demoralised easily.
but look, can you imagine losing the first centre pass?
it might be nothing to you, my teammates might get discouraged by my act.
and it might not be just only ME, getting discouraged, but my teammates.
though big bird told me her experiences.
of course i dont wanna look back and regret that i actually bring the team morale down.
but.... i just cant help it.
especially when you know you have to accomplish a certain duty/task on court.
but you're not doing it. i've not only let down myself, my teammates, teachers, coach.
of cus the only way is to fight hard and get back the ball lah.
which is missing in me.
ok, so we're leading by 5 now. which is our 1st quart target lah pls.
i dun wanna start the 2nd round like that ok.
if this was a crucial match, the team will lose cus of me.

i wont let this be a problem anymore ( or at least i try to)
i'm gonna play hard tmr =)
i will. i wanna make it to the finals this year.
and i'll make sure i work hard for it.

attacking is still not that good.
still trying to work on it.
but if we dun make amendments tmr, we're probably gonna die.
so yeah. its time to show our potential,girls.
no time to waste. its already the 2nd round.

motivation!

its yet another empty valentines day for me.
its been 4 years, and i'm more or less getting pretty used to it.
exactly 1 year ago, we had our first match of the second round against pioneer.
i can still remeber!=)
disappointed with my play, because attacking didnt work well that day.
but we still won.

so this year, was watching soccer in school.
they won! yay!
okay, this year, didnt prepare much stuffs for friends.
and i feel kinda guilty now, because i receive pretty much from my mates and friends.
thanks so much! =)

of course, valentines has its advantages and disadvantages.
valentines is so sweeeet! in a way,
and so, i manage to see and know about things that are quite disturbing, not only to me.

perhaps, its good that i keep quiet lah.
sigh.

jianyang replaced 50 icecreams with 20 stalks of roses from school.
haha, and i ended givng all of them away.
stuuupidddd. but thanks anw =)

and theres this group of sec 1 bitches i came across ytd.
they were shooting a netball pole with a basketball.
so as a netballer, i asked them not to shoot.
and they were like "why?!"
so i just said, because its not meant for basketball?! like duh?
do u have common sense or what?
sec 1 bitch, act ahlian i scared?
like cummon lah, sec 1 trying to act big in school.
summore diao me today.
never die before! this kinda ppl.
but still, i'm trying to keep my cool.
and act like a guai kia, this is my last year anw.
so i wanna keep good records. and not get into trouble with a ermm. sec 1 kid? lols.
not worth my time and energy.


go b and c div! =)

its deeply appreciated. thank you!

its over.
it took me 5 months.
but i'm ready to move on again.
maybe for the past few months, i've been deceiving myself.
but i've gotten over it.
time heals everything.
=)

valentines on wed.
thur theres a match
fri is chi new year celebration.
what a busy week.
sigh.

all the retribution are coming like unknowingly.
so what? am i supposed to be happy that it actually happened?
lols. a point to think abt.

today, i asked myself what do exactly want in life.
well.. i've got all of it planned out!
you know, i'll keep this till i get old, and read it.
i love keeping memories. haha!
okay, so now. i'll concentrate on NETBALL!
yes, its netball more than anything else.
the weekends are for catching up with work.
and after the season ends, its o's all the way,
and a lil' of netball training to keep myself in shape.
till the 13th of nov(last day of examination)
and from there, i'll probably find a part time job,come back for trainings.
get my results, enter a Poly, most prob, is Ngee Ann. Accounts.
still thinking of Sports and Leisure management at RP.
from there, another 3 years. and i'll be 19 by the end of the poly.
come out to work? lols. den blah blah blah.........
i just wanna lead a simple life.
find a good husband and marry off? lols!
give birth and give them the best!
yay! end of story! haha

oh yes! both the Cdiv and Bdiv are into the 2nd round of westzone.
*claps* theres never "the best" in us.
sigh, the cdiv will be meeting Clementi town, MGS and Nanhua.
tough grouping. but go for it girls.
i'm sure you can make it to the top 4!
and for us, the fixtures aint out yet. i'll update you readers probably on tue.
i'm not afraid of the schools we are gonna meet.
i'm not gonna listen.
because it saddens me ALOT.

theres an internal war going on right now.
we might appear to be fine,
but deep down inside, we all know something is not right.
stop trying to be sarcastic lah.
stop pretending as if you dont care.
when we all know, you do.
your actions show it all.

shopping!
got some clothes, but alot of food.
and my mum feels rich today.
but i got pissed off with her when we were about to take dinner.
and i havent speak to her since i walked off.
i am in the wrong?! hello? get the facts right.

so for a period of time, i was at orchard alone.
you know what i do when i'm alone.
i think about the past.
and this time, its not that much,
cus it wasnt my purpose to go to orchard today.
and i find myself damn stupid at times.
lols, or most of the time.

retards are retards.
so why should retards take o's.
i'm demoralised can.

maybe your presence matters.
beacuse when you're not around, i feel weird.

i'm rushing through my lit,
and theres like maths test tomorrow. wonderful eh?
and i'm slacking a lil now.
maybe not just a lil, but alot!
guess i'll have to sleep late tonight.

anyhoos, watched the b div soccer match just now.
i like the bukitbatok jersey lah! its kappa! and looks like some portugal jersey.
but they won 3-0 i think! haha.
its so cool when there are so many ppl watching you when you're playing.
not like you want to attract attention kinda thing.
oh wells.
sometimes the best thing to do, is to keep my mouth shut.

tmr is against jurongville.
we'll do our best =)

didnt have a chance to touch my com last night.
cus i was damn tiring, and there was still work to rush.
though i'm doing my ss hwk now,
but i dun really mind spending a few mins to blog.
i mean, a few mins wont kill right?

so yesterday, we had a TOUGH match.
played 'C' for ALL 4 quarters.
okay, seriously, this is the first time, in my WHOLE netball life,
thati played 4 quarts of C straight.
so is it an achievement or disappointment?
well, its both for me.
i was tired. but for all i know, i can't probably give up at that point in time,
when all my other teammates are trying so hard.
ytd was crap, cus i was discouraged by my own mistakes i make.
and i perhaps its not about motivation ytd.
if motivation wasnt there, i wouldnt have lasted 4 quarts.
perhaps, its just that i get damn irritated and disappointed with the no. of mistakes i have made.
we've met our match yesterday.
1 main player down.
the rest of us will have to work even harder.
i hear the cheering of my teammates, my teacher and coach.
and i was really on the verge of giving up the last quart.
but i held on.
wait people, that isnt the MOST impt thing.
whats more impt is that WE WON! =)
23-25.
i dont know if its a good thing.
but the defending was way better than attacking ytd.
i'm part of both.
and there'll be things to work on for both sides.
=)

the cdiv on 31-18 today too!
wee, i'm most satisfied with the fact that,
both divisions proved ms solastri wrong.
and yeah, we did it.
we're not quitters.

yay! the boys won!
khairul's goal was fantastic though.
my man of the match is still ridhuan( no. 8)! wee~
they won without subramani and indra though.

this is becoming more like my game situation tmr.
who says we can't win even if the key players are down with injuries?
when your teammate is injured, the most important thing, is not only to hope for her speedy recovery. but to be able to STEP UP and fill the position of your teammate.
uh huh. that will make the difference, between a STRONG main 7, and a STRONG team.
so is my team a strong TEAM. or is it just a strong main 7 team?!

i hope i aint crapping. but its true.

okay, maybe its the effect of over-eating bananas.
i had 8 bananas today. lols.
they just taste sooooo gooooodd!

tomorrow's gonna be tough.
i'll fight hard and i'm sure the rest will.
every game counts [ i got this from mr wan's visioning] haha!
but his visioning was really fantastic compared to ours.
i'm trying not to be stressed lah.
my performace in training was kinda bad.
and i'm damn slow for the recovery of box defence.
all i know, i have to do my job on court as a Centre.
its gonna be damn tiring. but i wont give up.

and to my english group members!
i'm so so sorry for doing so little work.
seriously, i feel so guilty lah.

sigh, i've been slacking quite alot these days.
and i know its not good.
especially missing so many lessons.
i'll get back on track like SOON ok?

its 4 Feb today.
and i'm 9 months away to my birthday? haha.
and 10 days away to valentines day again this year =)
but i have my friends lah! valentines for years already!
i hope valentines day wont turn out as bad as last year's.
i remember we had a good scolding from ms solastri before our game
against Pioneer, our first game in the quarter finals.
14 days to CHINESE NEW YEAR! weee~
might have to go back to malaysia to visit relatives though.
sigh, i hate going overseas now. cus i'll get darn bored.
haha. but it has been like a year since i went back.

yeap, its Feb. i dont want my netball season to come to an end!
puhhh-leasseee. lets go all the ways to national finals.
and hope this will never come to an end!
go tanglin netball =)
and soccer. lols. ok, thats so out of point.
but who cares?! lols.

i made a joke out of myself today lah.
wth, but good experience to think back.
and i'll do a better job the next time.
this was like totally LAST MIN.
and i wasnt prepared.
good thing mrs oei wasnt there.
if not i'll get 'banged' damn hard.
okay. lols.

was leading in the cdiv teamtalk today.
well i thought it went pretty well.
and after the team-talk, they had their own talk.
they clear all their 'problems' within the team.
what i thought was siti was trying to get the team together.
shes doing a great job in leading the team though.
will make a good capt.

what exactly is good leadership qualities?

mon will be a tough game.
and i'll give all out.
for myself, the team and so on...
its either we win and top the table.
or lose and go to the 2nd round as runner up.
it does matter.
maybe i shouldnt let things affect me that much.
i MUST drive. lols.

ahh, half of the nails from my big toe came out.
after pulling it out for days.
and it hurts like shit.
now my toenails look like shit.
and the toenail on the other foot is starting to break also.
darn.
my deepest condolences.