i was kinda sad yesterday.
because everyone treated me the same.
if money could change the fact. if money could heal the wound in my heart.
the toughest days, i pulled it through.
what more do i expect from myself?
i've been strong, i know i am (:
is money EVERYTHING?

i skipped one SS/HY lesson last thur.
and somehow, ms solastri got to know about this.
yes, i went with her on my own accord.
i'm not blaming anyone but myself for this.
if one day, i really get kicked out of netball.
who else can i blame?
i must know the consequences of whatever i do from now on.
i still wanna play for the team, i wanna represent the school.
i wanna play for myself.
captainship to me is no longer a problem.
i rather they choose someone more capable of doing the job well.
than me, who has been causing trouble for myself and the team.
how can my tchers, my coach and my teammates trust me?
i never had the ability of leading the team well.
whatever it is. 've given the oppotunity.
but i've RUINED it.
i've left a bad impression.
how can i ever suceed?

you guys might be joking.
but you know me, when i'm not in the mood, i take everything seriously!
so they eventuallly "ganged" up against me.
trying to ignore me when i talk to them.
make a mockery out of it, because i am sitting alone and had no one to talk to.
so after awhile i got angry, and started to ignore them as well.

i'm sorry! but i really didnt check my phone during that time.
but that doesnt mean that i dont wanna msg right!
aww, cummon.

my world has turned upside down.
and i was almost on the verge of breaking down yesterday during training.
i took the circuit training to vent my anger on.
the usual noisy me during training has become a quiet and emotional me.
yes, it was awkward. but i really wasnt in e mood.

well. i havent been doing well in school either.
its time to catch up some work.
before its too late.
and before Common Tests comes like freaking fast.
shits. i tell you, i'm gonna screw it real bad this time round.
so i better buck up!
and i haven been sleeping in class!
isnt that great? (not trying to be sarcastic).
cus i've got my motivation pushing me (:

i'm the Little Girl in our 3e1 production shining red dot!
and damn shit. i'm that little girl.
who needs to tie 2 pony tails with a lollipop.
that might sound CUTE to you.
but if u see me doing it, i think you'll probably puke.
whens the last time i had 2 pony tails? haha
(: i love school! but its long and boring at times =(